Well, hello.
Jacks Casket.....
Jacks sweet lil' feet... They were too sweet to touch the earth.
Footprints...
Sweet Angel Baby Jack Oliver Young J.O.Y. <3It all stared out on a Thursday... A relaxing laid-back day in the pool.
My Aunt Becky was here swimming with us. She had a special app that counted contractions. My feelings were all over the place. Nervous, Excited, Curious, But mainly EXCITED. I didn't know it was going to be the worst day of my life. Around 4 o'clock Mom had made a call to Mary-Helen her mid-wife that she needed to come check. So Mom went in to shower and get some actual clothes on.
The contractions got more and more painful. So she moved up to the big jacuzzi bathtub. Mary-Helen got here, and everything happen soo fast. Mom told Mary Helen that she felt ready to push. So Mary- Helen said " go for it". In two minutes something came out but it wasn't a crying bright red baby... It was a bag and a chord. After that came a baby, but it wasn't crying, screaming, moving or anything normal. He was stillborn. But we were hoping that he would catch his breath. I was up talking to our neighbor Mrs.Wright and my Dad yelled for me so I ran down to the house and Dad said "He's not breathing, Go pray Now!" so Will and I went down and prayed. And prayed. At first I was trying to hold in the tears, But that did not last long. I started sobbing and sobbing and I couldn't stop. "We bathed this baby in prayer how could something like this happen?" I thought to myself. Hoping that he would breathe Dad came down with an update "He's still not breathing.". I was getting ready to go upstairs and check on Mom but then I heard counting. " 1-2-3 1-2-3 over and over. This was so un-real. So I kept praying for a miracle. I finally got the strength to go up but Jack was already in the emergency truck. Mom was in the bathroom sobbing. Dad was gone in the emergency truck with Jack. Grandma and Ethan had left to go comfort Dad. Mom, Becky, Mrs.King , Will, Mary Helen, Molly, Levi Aunt Sherry and I stayed here for awhile, Then left to go see Jack's little shell at the hospital... Mom and Dad went back first because they had some "decisions" to make, They were back there for about an hour and a half. I sat in the waiting room with everyone talking and I would talk a little bit then cry then think then cry and that was how it went most of the time. Finally Mom and Dad came back and waited for awhile and then they brought Jack in. He was The most beautiful little baby I had ever seen. Loads of hair, perfect little but long feet, a cute button nose and tiny mouth. But, he was pale. At first I thought I though I couldn't bare to hold him. But then the sweet nurse at the hospital said " You'll be glad you did" And boy, was I glad I held him. he was perfect in every way. I didn't want to let him go, I wanted him to open his eyes so bad. We didn't see his eyes so that will just be a mystery for us to see in heaven. Well after every one who wanted to held him and all the pictures were taken we walked him back to "his room" it was a very technical cold looking and feeling room. Part of me wanted to stay and cuddle with him and the other part wanted to get out of that nightmare. Well then we went back to the waiting room and sat and shock for awhile. and then went back to say one last goodbye to Jack's little adorable, beautiful, handsome, cute, and perfect little shell. I will never forget that day. Or holding him. or walking away and glancing back at Him in that cold little room. I dont know what I would do if I did not know that he was in heaven. I would be a reck. Psalm 30:5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life; Weeping may endure for a night but J.O.Y. cometh in the morning. <--- That is the verse I put on my letter to put in Jacks casket. I love you more than words can say Jack Oliver, and I miss you more than words can say.
-Melanie J.O.Y. <3
